Kiss Me
by Totally Raven
Summary: It's a freezing night in Gryffindor Tower. Remus has a way to keep out the cold, but why is Sirius so nervous? Oneshot, slash.


A/N: Been circulating through my computer for ages; finally realised I'd never uploaded it. I hope you like.

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

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Remus tossed himself over again. He hated these long winter nights. Gryffindor Tower was always freezing and the pans never held their heat.

Not only that, not only was Remus freezing, but it was the dark of moon. Which was the last night he would have a descent sleep until after the next full moon. However, he was stressed because he wasn't sleeping.

It was all Sirius' fault, he decided. If Sirius hadn't come out a week ago this wouldn't have been a problem.

Remus himself had never needed to come out. Lily had kind of guessed he was gay and convinced the others to ask him. Of course, Remus had this funny thing about honesty. He always told the truth. Always.

It was a major flaw in his opinion. Lily called it his greatest virtue, but that was birds for you.

But since Sirius had come out Remus had been stressing. He'd always been infatuated with Sirius, indeed, it was the main reason Lily had first suspected him, but now… Now that he knew Sirius was differently inclined _as well_ he was wondering if _anything_ would _ever _happen. Because now it was a possibility.

And Remus hated it because it was driving him batty. He didn't like not knowing things, and this one was way out of his hands and that just frustrated him even more.

He sighed and flipped onto his back again, then ripped the blankets high around his neck, shivering. If he was this cold he could only imagine how bad the others were. Except James was snoring lightly, and Peter's audible breathing carried into his ears.

It was only now that he realised Sirius' usual mutterings were missing. He turned onto his side again and whispered across the room.

"Sirius? Are you awake?"

There was silence and Remus began to think he mustn't be when Sirius replied quietly.

"Remus? Yeah… I can't sleep. I'm freezing!"

Remus laughed gently to himself, and then knowing he was going to hate himself in the morning he asked gently, "D'you wanna crawl over here? Combine body heat or something? I'm freezing as well…" he hastily added the last, and was glad that no one was around to see (even if they'd have been able to in the dark) that he was blushing. He hadn't done that in the light or with witnesses in years.

"Um, sure," Sirius whispered and then all Remus knew was a rustle of bed sheets and then the quiet _slap slap_ of Sirius' feet on the stone floor. And finally a soft singing as Sirius pulled the curtains open and Remus shifted over in the bed to make room for him, holding the blankets back.

"Thanks," Sirius said softly, slipping in beside Remus. "Good thing Hogwarts uses these old beds. They're huge."

"Oh, you don't like being close to me?" Remus joked, grinning. He could see Sirius only as some clear cut shadows against the black of the redrawn curtains.

"Remus you should know better than to make jokes like that," Sirius said, but he was grinning too. Remus could see the gleam of his sharp teeth and could smell the Firewhiskey still on his breath, mingled with some brand of cigarette.

"Why?" Remus asked softly. Before last week Sirius had always been making _those_ jokes with him. He'd never minded before, even though he'd known Remus was gay. Now that Sirius was gay too (well not really suddenly _was_, Remus thought, but it almost seemed like it. In the back of his mind Remus wondered if that's what the others had thought when he'd come out. 'Cause it really wasn't like that…)

"Because…" Sirius had closed his eyes, knowing that Remus could see him and it seemed to Remus that Sirius didn't want to face him. "Things are different now."

"I don't see how," Remus said brusquely.

Sirius' eyes opened again and fixed on the young werewolf. "It is."

Stop thinking it, Lupin, Remus thought to himself. But still, he _thought_ he heard a breath of air escape Sirius' lips, and he _thought_ that it whispered 'Kiss Me' into his ear.

But he knew it couldn't have, because when he looked at Sirius he was staring at him as if challenging him to say that things hadn't changed.

They hadn't.

Sirius sat up, despite the bite in the air, and fumbled on Remus' bed table for his wand. Finally, he whispered, "_Lumos_," and Remus blinked as a fine, bright light accosted his eyes.

He blinked again as he looked back at Sirius, who was now lying down again, shuffling into the bed with a small, secretive smile as he nestled the lighted wand between them.

Remus shut his eyes gently against sleep, trying to force blood into the tiny muscles to keep himself awake.

"Are you warm yet?" Sirius asked, and Remus opened his eyes quickly, slightly disappointed to see the hint of a smile had disappeared.

"Mm. Slightly." Remus closed his eyes again, saddened. "What's changed, Sirius?" he whispered.

There was a long silence, filled only by the sound of mingled breath, one breathing low and deep the other more shallowly. Remus thought Sirius was planning on falling asleep, just to avoid the question.

"If you … if…" Sirius started, and Remus' eyes flicked open quickly, realising that he himself was falling asleep. He shivered in the cold and wished he could curl up closer to Sirius, but he was afraid to. Remus wasn't afraid of many things, and the sudden idea of the emotion frightened him even more. His breath caught in his throat and he shuddered and gasped.

"What?" Sirius asked, anxiously. "What's wrong?"

Remus drew in two breaths, the first only making it halfway to his lungs, the second forced in but soon lost again. "Nothing. Just … a thought."

"A thought of what?" Sirius said, and the panic was evident in his voice. There was silence for a moment as the boys stared into one another's eyes in the dim gloomy light. Then Sirius sniffed and murmured. "Look, maybe I should go back to my bed. This is … too … weird."

"Sirius…" Remus said, and reached his hand out, curling his fingers around the smooth white flesh of Sirius' wrist and noting dimly the dull _thump dump_ of the pulse.

"It is different, Moony," Sirius whispered. "And I … I'm afraid."

"Of what?" Remus breathed, startled to find Sirius afraid as well.

"Of you?" Sirius said, making it into a question in his attempt to sound apologetic.

"Me!? Why?" Remus gasped.

"I don't want to lose you."

"But … you won't. Sirius, truly, nothing _has_ changed."

"It has. Kiss me and you'll see how."

Silence. Remus stared at Sirius who had shut his eyes and flinched back, almost as if he was afraid Remus would hit him. After a long, long time Remus inched slightly closer, unsure but wanting to kiss him. But as he shifted, Sirius opened one eye.

"You didn't hit me…" he muttered.

"Why would I do that?" Remus said quietly, confused.

"Because I'm … I love you. I'm in love with you, and … and now you'll hate me."

"Is that … is that how you knew?" Remus whispered.

Sirius nodded, rubbing his cheek against the sheets rather than moving.

"I … I'm …"

"What?" Sirius said, looking Remus directly in the eye.

"I think I understand now." Remus said, and shifted slightly. Sirius sighed deeply.

"I see." He moved. Remus opened his eyes, without having been aware that they were closed, and tightened his grip on Sirius wrist.

"And I will…"

Sirius looked at him, confusion and fear showing in his eyes. "Will what?"

Remus shifted again, this time closer. And just when he was near Sirius he muttered, "Kiss you." And just before he closed his eyes he saw the blood rush into Sirius' face, but when he placed his lips onto Sirius' own there was no fear or shame or confusion. Just pure bliss. Remus felt Sirius smile against him, and moved his hand from wrist to waist and shuffled closer, no longer afraid and very much glad for it.

He pulled back and gasped in a breath. "Okay?" he asked Sirius, who was very unused to the practice of kissing boys.

"Yes."

Remus smiled and whispered, "_Finite_," and then in the dark he continued: "I'm glad … now, kiss me."

_Fin._

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Please review if you liked it. Was it any good? Was it too short? Aren't Starburst Jelly Beans the best ones? Hmmm?


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